today someone made me feel like I wasn’t enough. It can arrive in the simplest form…and not very many words were spoken, but it was enough to affect me for the entirety of the day…obviously still does now.
I cannot please everyone, nor do I want to…but i’m curious why I continue to strive to. I wonder why I cannot just let go of the fear of someone judging me, of how i’m perceived, of how I talk, or look, or teach. I think because I want so badly to be inspiring, and looked up to it truly hurts my ego when I’m clearly not. And I understand now that it is because I cannot see myself.
Self love is truly hard to come by. To wash away the opinion of others simply because you didn’t happen to be their cup of tea is imaginably difficult for anyone. I want to be loved, I want to be remembered, I want to be strong, and beautiful and wise, I want to be knowledgeable and understanding, sympathetic and kind. I want to be all these things and I continually strive to be them….maybe that’s why it hurts so much when someone doesn’t see you the way you want to be seen.